YOUR PERFECT SELF
Updated: May 11
Last summer me and a group of eight lovely ladies saw a lady for a psychic reading. We were all hesitant as you hear stories about them feeding you bollocks or what you want to hear thats how they make their money etc. BUT this lady was spot on, she had three of us crying she knew that much about our families, relationships and career situations. It was like she knew everything that you’d been through without you having to tell her, she explained people we’d lost in our lives were with us in the room and they passed messages through to her to feed back to us, so and so loves you very much and they want you to get out of that negative situation you’re in and to let nothing hold you back. Some of the guidance was even to pursue any particular hobbies or interests we didn’t have the confidence to take on otherwise. My grandad even told me I don’t pay my hairdresser enough. Which is fair play cause my hair is huge and takes double the appointment time it should, bless every person that has attempted to dry my hair in time for their next app.
She knew how we all worked, she knew how we were feeling and what we could do to make that positive difference in our lives. She knew we all had people in our lives who caused us upset and held us back who she knew we were all better off without. She informed of us of our futures, and every little detail she predicted has slowly but surely cropped up. So you know when you’re confused and in a state of where to go or which path to follow, we, after seeing her cannot complain that we were not at least warned. She told me I’ve been in a lot of relationships, she told me I get bored easily and that I need to find myself on my own without the back up support of a mans love. She told me I would hit a cross roads with job opportunities and it might mean giving up that mans love to continue my path independently. I still love my partner very much and he helps me find my mojo when I lose it and get set astray comfort eating and spiralling into negative thoughts. He’s a pisser and these alone are positive reasons I want said partner to stay in my life.
With jobs I’ve always felt so much pressure. From the day I started working at 16 I have forever had this greener grass in the back of my mind. That I can do better or why aren’t I doing as good a job as so and so I know is. Instagram flaunts ‘brand ambassadors’ that guilt trip young women into thinking their identity is not good enough without said products or treatments. But these employees look so happy with their life, so many people make it look like they don’t work for a living, they travel for free or flaunt their achievements and following and nothing else. I never see anybody explaining the failures they’ve gone through for years beforehand to get to the position they’re in today. Or even if its not what it looks like, it might not pay a thing, they might be miserable, they might solely rely on likes on Instagram to have had ‘an alright day’. But people like me and you are none the wiser. We see these people, tanned skinny and successful, and we cannot do anything else but compare ourselves, our bodies, our lives, our income, our following, our life journey, our level of success. But one thing glamorous successive women do not do is tell you about their bad days, their waste of investments, their potential debt to be in the position they’re in, the lack of social life they have time for or relationship hiccups they might have.
Alls we can compare ourselves to is them at their proudest hour. And that is just complete bollocks isn’t it. Every time we look at Instagram, we are comparing REAL things to people’s prestigious moments and looks. We don’t see their front camera on snapchat of their double chins, we don’t see their starting point of 100 followers, we don’t see how lonely their time might be spending every spare second posting their lives as perfection. We don’t see them curled up in bed having a cry to a Friends wedding on the first day of their period, we don’t see their bank account at 97p when alls they want is a £1 Greggs sausage roll, they might not have had a shag in years, we don’t see anything that is considered normal or common life. We just see the heights and peaks.
I tend to write about this a lot but still end up following these kinds of people, I’m going to unfollow as and when I see things that make me feel inadequate. And I’m going to focus on the people that matter, that love their imperfections and haven’t got a clue where they’re going in life either. Need to remember that everybody started somewhere. There is no need to pressure yourself when it comes to ANYTHING, relationships, careers, identity, weight etc. Everyones kinda in it for themselves anyway, so focus on yourself and lead a positive and lovely example. Cause people might not vocalise it but we all feel like shit about ourselves sometimes, and we don’t give ourselves enough credit. I’d definitely say to follow Jameela Jamil, she’s a real woman thats worked toward what she has, she accepts herself after being criticised at a young age for her weight and South Asian nose. She defines herself as a real woman, and she is strong in supporting other real women. Just a walking, talking positive and healthy role model. She, like many other women should be helping each other to realise their potential and strength, she is up against a big fight considering the amount of young girls who take diet pills and copy everything the Kardashians do. The Kardashians are walking plastic surgery, what about that appeals to someone who is perfect as they are? How can we idolise and compare ourselves to something that is not real? You’ve seen the before pictures young ladies, you are funding their transformed faces and bodies, for them to guilt you into believing that is the way to look in order to be successful in life? MAD to the NESS.
It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, if you lead a happy life and you’re achieving or working to achieve something you can be proud of then why do other people matter? Focus on what you enjoy, what little moments of each day or week do you enjoy, what are your favourite things to do at work? You never know where you could end up if you keep your options open and challenge yourself. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, it will only be you looking back on your decisions and outcomes wishing you had have done something different to better your future happiness. If you’re ‘alright’ with your life, thats not good enough. Chase your positive future self. You’re only favouring yourself by applying for that random job you fancy or researching what you enjoy to find out how you could pursue it. You have nothing to lose.
Whenever I kind of feel not good enough in any way I listen to Deap Vally, especially for you ladies unsure of yourselves in any way, you deserve to feel ace about your inner badass. I know its in there!!!!!
Love ya xxxxxxxxxx