Updated: May 11
First of all I want to thank those of you who've been making me smile with your messages. Honestly you never have a clue how opening up about yourself will translate, but I do really hope it helps even if its just a tidge. I'm not here to push anything on anyone, this works as a useful vent and might be relatable.
Gonna tell you now why its important to squeeze as much positivity into your day to day schedules as possible. Your day, year or life, are all made up of tiny moments and its easy to let negative thoughts possess those moments through generalisation. Before you know it it's a bad day and those generalised negative thoughts have that hold on you. You might not look after yourself as well as you could, you might care too much about what people think, social media might get in your head, you might lie around bored with nothing to focus on.
The human mind naturally finds it easier to dwell on and generalise the unhappy thoughts rather than the happy. When you compare your appearance to someone else's, how often do you come out on top?
Your little moments make up your whole day and they have a niggling of impact. You wait for your lift, you wait for work to start, you wait for lunch, you wait for 5pm, you wait to go home, you wait for Friday. It’s easy to let this routine consume you.
People understandably need some form of positive escapism, wether it be exercise, travelling, singing in the shower, nature, retail therapy etc. I buy my fair share of scratch cards and random clothes I don't need. Its important to then understand that we need the negatives in life to endure the positives, the scratch cards wouldn't be so exciting if I already had lots of money to spend. Novelty’s are only novelty’s until they wear off. In a way, we are lucky that life isn’t as good as it could be day to day, because then we wouldn’t enjoy the different and exciting things when they did transpire. The thing we need to remember is to work on enjoying as many tiny moments as we can in the process. Yeah, things like work can get you down and you honestly wouldn’t get out of bed for it if it wasn’t for that morning brew and cigarette BUT you do have tiny moments in your day to take advantage of in order to help change this.
It’s important you set yourself something to look forward to, even something little to make you happy. If you have nothing fun to look forward to in your day then buy a lolly pop to put in your bag and leave it in there until you feel like you really need it. Even if you break it out half way through a long meeting at work, if it keeps you positive in that little moment then you go for it glen coco. I realise a lot of the things that can make your day/week fun usually involve spending money which isn’t accessible to all of us. So here’s some suggestions for you to chop and change your day, I’ll do them with you and hopefully there’ll be more little moments to keep your mind positive during your week.
Write down your week in front of you, Monday to Friday even if its Wednesday, cross the days you’ve done out cause it feels like you’re pre-accomplishing some kind of to do list. Include your work shifts, activities and anything you need to remember to do. If you have to go and see your grandparents, take them a little cake or some flowers, they’ll give you a grateful hug for even visiting, and then you’ve created a positive moment for both you and them! The lolly is my personal favourite because I often crave a cigarette when work gets dull or stressful, the lolly just helps me to colourfully reminisce about being a naive little toddler. If you catch the bus or get a lift, get dropped off sooner than you usually do, walking can clear the mind and if you have a look around you might brighten your day with dogs, nature and fresh air.
Start a conversation with someone you’d usually avoid eye contact with because you’re a nervous and socially awkward bastard. This is a scary one to be fair, I usually just smile and keep my head down, but today I’m going to say hello to the security guard on my way into work and ask him how his weekend was. He could be a really mean person or even attack me but at least I’ve tried to step out of my comfort zone a tiny bit! Adults love young people who'd talk rather than use their phones as an unsociable shield. After you’ve had that first conversation and realised the security guard is actually a right geezer, you’ll feel like a boss. Especially because this little exciting moment was free and easy. Remember the day before and how nervous you felt, think in a week's or month's time you could overcome something huge!
Another free and easy moment could be to have a shower and sing an empowering song that brings you butterflies and nostalgia. Get changed into fresh clothes and go out of your way to feel cleansed, perhaps pluck your eyebrows or paint your toe nails.
Another scary but positive one is to apply for another job, nothing has to happen even if you hear back or get invited to an interview, there’s no pressure. It’s just exciting to know you could escape if you wanted to, that you're free to test the waters elsewhere. Who knows, you could end up bagging something you never thought you could, its great to see what we can achieve once there's no pressure behind us.
We need to break our comfortable routines as often as we can. The comfort zone can be as simple as a daily familiarity for example, which way you drive to work. Unfortunately, as lovely and warm as our comfort zone may be however big or small the comfort, it's easy to get a bit trapped in the cotton wool. What happens when the way you usually drive to work is closed and you really struggle driving the other way without panicking because its cramped, there's always lots of traffic and school kids? You need to approach and execute your fears on a regular basis in order to build your confidence. This will then help you to engage with that more daring, fearless and positive mindset.
Even if its just an hour or two to read or go for a walk on your own. Go to the pub or into town and sit with the oldies and make random conversation. Work hard but look after yourself and push yourself into exciting little moments when you can.