Updated: May 11
Often people tell me to do a job that makes you happy, this is continually so hard to comprehend when I'm just one of the many strugglers tightroping through their twenties. Clinging on to the ten minutes longer we have in bed every morning to stay safe and snug. It's common for us to feel like society has this expectation of you to live out a career of success and fulfilment, but doesn't quite hand you the tools required. From being spoon fed through from Primary school to High school, Sixth form and then pushed into University. I was never adult enough to make my own decisions or especially understand what different careers meant before the age of twenty one when I'd left University.
I've then spent the past three years pressuring myself into jobs I didn't want and feeling anxious about where my future is headed. Just to have a sense of 'beginning my career', even if its irrelevant to what I wanted long term. I was making a step into slow and steady adulthood. I'm always reminding myself of people the same age as me from similar backgrounds with how much they've achieved when I've not even left the ground yet.
What if this is your last few years left to live in adolescence? Perhaps this time is to relax and live carelessly before you realise what you do want for the rest of your life? I tend to focus far too negatively on the situation and put the aims on a pedestal, it then becomes almost unobtainable. Instead I need to make the things in life that make me feel positive a priority and then if I happen to stumble upon what I want to do for a career and get my questions answered on how to achieve it, then it would purely be a bonus. Getting rid of the stress usually helps to make the big things happen.
Its impressive what we can achieve without this built up pressure behind us. Imagine how far I'd have come by now if I had made my positive mindset a priority, instead of headhunting doubts about a huge responsibility like my career.
A few things below to help your mindset stay positive.
Perhaps you don't spend enough time socialising with your friends, this is a huge one because the first thing human's respond positively to is social interaction and to feel approval within that interaction. Remain close to those who genuinely make you laugh and those who you can trust. Keep busy and go places, do not opt to stay in on your own, company and being outside is key.
Maybe you don't use up your energy with exercise and your mental health suffers more than it could? Do a little workout every day, even ten minutes a day can make you feel enthused. You'll be surprised how much better you and your bank account feel after an alcohol and junk food detox. Avoid the foods that bloat you and drive you into that pit of lethargy. Get in the mood to move.
Have you ever thought of writing things down? Its common to bottle up feelings however it's important to release and process them. Try typing like a mad woman to empty your mind, even if its junk, its clearing your thoughts and acts as a free healthy cleanse. Its a proven therapy to journal negative thoughts or situations that might be bothering you. I overheard a group talking at the bar about how they cope with their troubling mental health; anxiety and depression were mentioned a few times. One said he used drinking and smoking as his coping mechanism to suppress it and to distract himself from it. Another said he went for walks to sweat it out, he additionally kept off the ale and wrote a lot of things down. You can guess which one's mental health had improved. Neglecting negative thoughts and emotions often leads to the thoughts worsening. Its much healthier to focus on, understand and prioritise these thoughts in order for your mind to process, react and grow.
A few more small self-help tips to keep you busy while those big worries fix themselves in the meantime.
Change your bed sheets, this enables you to look out for your future self. You'll get to bed that evening feeling looked after and cared for by number one.
Eat your breakfast in a different spot around the house. Change of scenery to your morning routine can have a courageous effect on the rest of the day.
Make a to do list, and of course write one down that you've already done for that crossing out satisfaction.
Disconnect from the social media that doesn't help your mind.
Ring your grandparents.
Do some easy yoga videos. Get in the mood accomplish.
Re-organise, clean and tidy your workspace. Cleanse that aura.
Order something little online so you have something to look forward to.
Get rid of all of the mugs in the house that you don't like drinking a cup of tea out of. Life's too short for unsatisfactory cups of tea.