Updated: May 11
We are made to adapt and survive when coping with stress.
I have not pushed myself to do anything nerve-racking or unfamiliar in a long time. Therefore I am not currently growing as I should be or feeling able to take up every opportunity possible in order to make that growth recommence. I feel nervous and stuck because of this said comfort zone.
There's only me who can work on my levels of discomfort and only me to reap the rewards once confronted. As well as there only being you who can put yourself right back into the midst of the comfort zone if you were to retreat back into cosy habits. The irony of the comfort zone is that the more comfortable you are in your familiarities and routines, the more uncomfortable it is to break out. The unfamiliarity of a different situation or change in routine causes your mind to panic, your anxiety immediately reacts in fight or flight. To avoid this state of mind, keep yourself actively seeking unfamiliar things to test yourself with.
Overthinking has been the worst consequence to my comfort zone. Not challenging yourself enough opens up room for thoughts to enquire 'what else is now too uncomfortable for you'.
My nerves, doubts and worries often question what I want to do with myself. What career do I want? What do I want to look like and dress like? Where do I want to live? Why haven’t I travelled more? Why do I not yet feel content with myself? Why am I constantly comparing myself to strangers? Why do I feel embarrassed of my achievements? How will I get a job I want? How does everybody else know what they want? Why am I so socially awkward? Why don't I understand the news? Why can't I act professionally in the workplace?
Some days I feel calm regarding the future. I feel like I know wherever I end up its going to be okay and I’m alright with the not knowing. Isn’t that what your twenties are for?
What if that's just the way my mind works?
To the many people my age running off to different continents to find themselves, if you could find me while you’re out there too that would be grand. I’m trying to focus on the little things that I love, like writing and talking to old people about their childhoods, how things were and what cars they used to have etc.
It's so hard to focus on what you’re grateful for when you’re not so grateful for yourself. When and how am I going to learn to be at peace with myself? Be proud of my appearance, my career, my achievements, my motivation, my care and love for people.
A lot of us are struggling and there is nothing I’ll judge if anybody wants to get in touch to have a natter. These feelings are difficult to talk about but I hope it has comforted you in some form to know that you're by far not alone.